The term "controlled crying" is thrown around regularly in the baby health care system, but what is this phenomenon that everyone is talking about?

Contrary to initial perception, controlled crying is not letting your child “cry it out”, nor is it giving up, punishing or abandoning you child. It is comforting your child at frequent intervals while putting your child to bed.

When used in it’s correct context, the term “controlled crying” is actually inaccurate. A better description (and one that is slowly gaining more credibility) is “controlled comforting”. Controlled comforting works like this:

• After your routine wind down to bedtime (a usual bedtime wind down is very important to let your child know that it’s coming up to sleep time) check that your baby isn’t hungry, wet, uncomfortable, have wind or any other reason other than tiredness that could be responsible for making them cry.

• Put your baby it his/her cot and tell them “It’s sleep time now” then leave the room for 2 minutes. A stop watch is indispensable at this time as two minutes of your baby’s crying can feel like an eternity.

• After two minutes is up go back into the room and comfort your child. You may stroke his/her forehead or back as comfort, but do not take them out of their cot. After a max of 1 minute, tell them again “It’s sleep time now. Goodnight.” Leave the room again.

• Each time, extend the time by 2 minutes. Leave you baby for 2 minutes, 4 minutes, 6, 8, then finally a 10 minute interval. Never let your baby cry alone for any longer than 10 minutes at a time.

• If your child is still crying at this time, pick them up, give them a feed, a change.. just change the scenery. After they calm down, start the controlled comforting sequence again.

The first night of controlled crying will always be the hardest. After that, your child knows what is happening and will generally fall asleep a lot earlier.